"We should be written up for 'Drama in Real Life' and our story should appear in Reader's Digest." Super Special #8 Snowbound

I'm currently reading Snowbound since my neck of the woods (Northwest Iowa) has been clutched in Old Man Winter's cruel grip. Seriously, it's frigid here. The wind chill is currently -17 degrees. And it's snowing. I guess it's not as bad as it was yesterday and Sunday, when the wind chill was -30. But it's still damn cold and my dogs don't like going outside. (These last couple days are the first time I've worn pantyhose in I don't know how long. Laugh all you want, but the ugly things are keeping me warm!)

Back to the book. I really love this particular Super Special, since I grew up in Minnesota and I know what blizzards are all about. I think I've mentioned this before, but I read this one during the first snowfall of the season. Every year. And it's taught me to: never go to New York City when you don't have enough food in your house for 9 people; don't get your hair permed for the dance; don't invite your boyfriend over if you're having blueberry pie for dessert; and never take a role in a ballet when your ballet school is not next door to your house. I'm pretty sure that this book is my inspiration for running to the grocery store whenever there's a flake of snow forecasted.

I always thought Mary Anne looked really pretty on this cover, if not thirteen. And if Mallory's really 11, I'll shoot myself.

I've read this one so many times I don't think I need to read the entire book before I blog it. Let's try it, shall we? I think I'll just do each girl's story line and the WTFs for it. No Continuity Issues, unless they're glaringly obvious.

Kristy: Invites Bart to her house to watch a few videos and stay for dinner. The snow starts falling so quickly and thickly that Mrs. Brewer insists that he stay. (She probably wouldn't do that if he and Kristy were 17 instead of 13.) He spends the night in a guest room, and Kristy panics when she realizes that he'll be there in the morning seeing her look like death warmed over. Hey Kristy? Bart's spending the night unexpectedly, you really think he will look fab in the morning? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Kristy's WTF Moments:
*I think we counted the bedrooms at Watson's once and decided there weren't any guest rooms. (I'm too lazy to look for that post, but you can find it, I'll do the book of your choice next time, after I do the Dawn book I've been putting off.)

*This was discussed on BSC Revisited: The time line of Kristy getting home from school, doing homework, inviting Bart over, taking forever at the video store, and watching 2 movies before dinner was ready. Well, ok, it was mostly me, but I'm bringing it up again. It never made sense to me, as a kid or an adult.

*The next morning when Kristy gets up at five-thirty, she tries to style her hair but it looks like "limp macaroni." Well, if you don't know what you're doing, that's what happens.

*When she finally leaves the bathroom, Sam and David Michael are standing there waiting to use it themselves. She tells D.M. to use his own bathroom, but he says this one's "closer." Is his in the backyard or something? Why didn't they both go use the other one if Kristy was in there for so long?

*Evidently, Bart is turned on by limp macaroni. He tells her she's beautiful.

Dawn: Is stuck at the airport with her mom when Jeff's plane is rerouted to Washington DC. Jeff's flying in for Christmas, and on Christmas Day, they'll both go back to California. This is the second dumbest plot in the book, worst being Jessi's.

Dawn's WTF Moments:
*She thinks she's going to die when the car slides into a mailbox at five miles per hour. Sharon swears.

*Dawn turns into a backseat driver, even though she "can't drive and she's sitting in the front seat." If she doesn't know how to drive, maybe she should STFU. It's hard enough to drive in snow without your passengers trying to tell you what to do.

*What is it with 13 year old girls and having to look perfect in the morning? She too is embarrassed to wake up with thirty other people in an airport. Everyone else is in the same boat, Dawn. Chill out.

*Dawn's surprised that a salad from the airport's cafeteria is decent. Salad is lettuce and veggies. How can you screw up a salad?

*Tell me why Dawn is so enamored with her brother. When I was 13, my brother was slime.

Claudia: Is baby-sitting for the Perkins girls and is stuck there overnight when Mr. and Mrs. Perkins are stuck at their friends' house in the country. When the power goes out, they lose Chewy the Dog.

Claudia's WTF Moments:
*She heats up spaghetti in a double boiler. Do the Perkinses not have a microwave?

*Mrs. Kishi comes over to see if Claudia wants her help. Claud, being a member of the BSC, declines Mrs. Kishi's offer.

*Before Myriah and Gabbie go to bed, they're looking for Chewy so they can tell him goodnight. Alas, he's nowhere to be found. They search the house but can't find him. Claudia puts the girls to bed and looks for him some more. She can't find him, so she gives up and goes to bed. Um, I don't know about the rest of you, but letting my dogs outside is the last thing I do before I go to bed. I think I'd look a little harder before giving up.

*Turns out, Chewy was in the basement. To give her some credit, Claudia lets him out right away.

Mary Anne and Mallory: Are baby-sitting the rest of the Pikes since Mr. and Mrs. Pike went to New York to do some shopping and stuff. Mrs. Pike tells the girls that while there's enough for breakfast and dinner, there's not much else. During the blizzard, they quickly run out of food. They are saved when Logan cross-country skis over to the Pikes' with a backpack full of stuff the next morning. They also start to wonder where Stacey and her mother are, since there's no lights on at the McGills' and they aren't answering the phone.

WTF Moments:
*They make Mary Anne sleep on a cot in Mallory and Vanessa's room. I guess I'd rather sleep on a couch, but that's just me.

*Byron wants a popsicle for breakfast, and Mary Anne asks Mallory if it's okay. Mallory tells him sure. He doesn't really want one, he just wanted to know what they'd say if he asked for one.

*The little Pikes are convinced that the blizzard happens because they did a snow dance in the back yard.

Jessi: Gets stranded at her ballet school when her father can't come pick her up. Quint is on his way in from the city for the Winter Wonderland dance, and he walks to the school from the train station. Jessi also takes all the pipsqueaks under her wing for the night.

Jessi's WTF Moments:
*Her whole plot. I really can't stand Jessi, and I usually skip over her chapters anyway. I guess getting stuck at dance school is no worse than getting stuck in an airport, but this one really sucks. If you have anything to add about her, feel free to do so.

Stacey: Goes to the Washington Mall with her mother to get her hair permed for the dance. On the way home, Mrs. McG gets freaked out by driving on the highway, so they start back to Stoneybrook on back roads. And ultimately get stuck. A stranger takes them to his house, where they get chopped into little bits and eaten are treated to a wonderful dinner and make some new friends in the process, whom we never hear about again.

Stacey's WTF Moments:
*They go to the salon without an appointment, for a perm. Don't those take a while? Seriously.

*They take back roads to get home. Really, Mrs. McGill? I figure you're a smart woman, WTF made you think the back roads would be safer?? Stick to the highway, lady. Let me tell you, the highways are the first roads to get plowed.

*Stacey doesn't get why the son of the man who saved them is so fussy. Well, he's never seen you before, and you stink like rotten eggs. Hmm. I don't know either.

Well, everyone survives the blizzard, and Kristy writes it all up for a newspaper article. The dance goes off without a hitch, and all is fabulous in Stoneybrook.



Stacey better get her money back from that perm. She also looks um...quite...whorey sophisticated for an eighth grade dance. Jessi looks like she rides the short bus, Mary Anne has a mustache, Kristy looks pain old awful, and Dawn has clubfeet. What's with all the prom dresses?