"Oh," I moaned, "there really is a kidnapper after me." #38, Kristy's Mystery Admirer

I had a Claudia book slated for review, but I read this one like yesterday, so I decided to do this one instead.


Surprisingly, I didn't hate this book. Even though it does have a baseball subplot, Kristy didn't agonize over the game too much. Turns out she had Ba-art on her mind instead.

The ghostwriter of this one really did some research back to the early books. Kudos, Ghostwriter! There was good continuity and bad, but that's the point of this blog!

This starts out at a Krushers/Bashers game, and the Krushers actually win the game. (It's also October, but we don't find that out until like halfway through the book.) Bart walks Kristy home from the game and Kristy doesn't really know what to say to him that doesn't include baseball or sports. They talk about gym class [fail], Bart kinda hits on her, and then he asks her about the BSC. Because everything revolves around the BSC. Bart also tells Kristy he's in a band and they don't really have a place to practice.

When Kristy gets home, Shannon calls. They talk about the Krushers, and this turns into Kristy's Chapter 2. Chapter 3 is overrun with the job duties of the BSC members, and a meeting. Claud's laying on the bed reading a Nancy Drew with her long-since-broken leg up on a pillow. She requests that everyone sit on the floor so she can play barometer [Kristy's words, not mine]. Kristy says that Mary Anne is the secretary because she's never made a mistake and she has the neatest handwriting. I have a bone to pick with that because I hate reading Mary Anne's writing. I always thought that the neatest writing was a toss-up between Mallory and Dawn. Hell, even Kristy's writing is easier to read than Mary Anne's! This book has a full two page Mary Anne-written notebook entry too. But I digress.

Kristy gets home from the meeting and finds that Shannon has called four times while she was gone. OMG, four times!! Doesn't Shannon know when BSC meetings are? Well, Kristy calls her back from the cordless phone inside the closet. Remember when cordless phones had crappy reception and silver antennas? Shannon tells Kristy to either "get off that phone or get out of the closet!" Kristy replies, "I'm not leaving the closet." Shannon tells Kristy that a letter addressed to Kristy came to her house. Kristy says the mailman screwed up. Shannon tells her she thinks it's a love letter! Kristy tells her to come over after dinner.

Shannon shows up at seven-thirty on the dot, and shows Kristy the envelope. It's decorated with heart and flower stickers. The letter itself is typed, and it says, "Dear Kristy, I think you are the nicest girl I know. I would like to go steady with you. I wish I could tell you this in person. Love, Your Mystery Admirer." Shannon is sure it's from Bart, but Kristy thinks it's from a girl. Her reason? "Stacey McGill is the only person I know who dots "I"s with hearts. Boys don't do that. This looks like it's from a girl." Shannon tells her to grow up. I agree with Shannon.

Shannon goes home to do a history paper, and she suggests to Kristy that she call Bart and see if he'll drop a hint about the note. Kristy does, but Bart doesn't. They talk about his band instead. Lame. I'm so glad I'm not 13 anymore.

The next day, Stacey is sitting for the Perkins girls, and Shannon shows up to the practice. They chat during the practice because they don't know each other very well. Later that night, Stacey calls Kristy (pretty random) and they talk about Bart. Kristy tells Stacey that she and Bart are planning to do the nasty a World Series for the Krushers and the Bashers. Even though it'll be only one game (Kristy wanted three), and it'll be played by the same rules as their regular games. So it's like...a regular game? Yeah, whatever. Kristy also tells Stacey that she invited Bart to the Halloween Hop at SMS, and Stacey has a heart attack. [Yes! First mention of the time of year! Page 49] Stacey's off and running with how she can slut up Kristy for the dance.

Next day during lunch at school, Kristy shows the gang the other letters she's received, four more. They have to speak loudly so they can hear each other, and Kristy notices that Cokie Mason and her Bitch Brigade are at the next table and are very interested in the BSC's conversation. Mary Anne and Kristy then recall last Halloween, when the BSC made fools of Cokie and her cronies. Stacey didn't know much about it, because she was living back in New York at that time. Even though it was during eighth grade. And 21 books ago.

That night after school, Kristy is sitting for her sibs, and she gets another note from her mystery admirer. But this one is...weird. It says, "I love you, I love you, I love you, but beware. Love is fickle. So are friends. Watch out for your mystery admirer." Kristy now thinks it's from Bart, and is convinced that he's a psycho. Shannon tries to talk her out of it, but Kristy won't have it.

Kristy gets more weird notes, including one about "eternal togetherness,"and at the next BSC meeting, everyone now thinks they're from Sam. Kristy says they aren't, and has a WTF theory about how someone's about to kidnap her for Watson's millions. The others laugh, but Kristy's sure that Watson would pay ransom for her. Later, she tells Shannon about this, and Shannon shoots it down, saying why would they take a stepchild when Watson has two perfectly good biological children? Kristy gets pissed, but eventually realizes Shannon's right.

There's an odd chapter about how Mal and Jessi are sitting at the Pikes' and Vanessa, Haley, and Charlotte decide to dress up like the Three Stooges for the World Series game. Weird, I know. They also decide that those will be their regular Halloween costumes. The other kids all decide to put together a spook house in the basement and charge a quarter to get in. They plan all afternoon, but we never hear anything else about it.

Another practice, in which Buddy Barrett slams Shannon in the head with a softball, and develops a giant crush on her. Kristy has now decided that Bart's crazy, and she wants to un-invite him from the dance. She won't talk to him, or look at him, and when he calls her that night, she pretty much hangs up on him.

Another practice rolls around. Kristy is on edge, because right before she left, she got another twisted love letter. This one says, "Beware. I'm coming sooner than you think. And once I find you, this is all that will be left of Kristin Amanda Thomas." "This" = fingernail clippings.

After practice, Kristy blows off Bart once more. He calls her, she has Sam tell Bart she went to Europe. Fed up, he goes to her house and demands that she talk to him. Kristy fesses up about the notes, and Bart fesses up that he wrote the nice ones. (And that his little brother mixed up addresses when he delivered the first note.)

Game day! Kristy's fam sets up a refreshment stand of cookies, bars, brownies, and lemonade. When the fans start rolling in, Kristy notices that Cokie and the Bitches are sitting in the bleachers. Cokie comes down to say hi, and tells Kristy that she's been looking pretty depressed lately. Kristy denies it, saying she's even got a boyfriend. Cokie says something bitchy about eternal togetherness and immediately notices her mistake. Kristy's light bulb flickers on and she finally realizes that it was Cokie who sent the weird love letters to her. Hmm, Cokie and Kristy sittin' in a tree...fanfic anyone? Cokie and her bitches take off after Kristy threatens to tell all of SMS and Bart's school about how much of an asshat Cokie is.

And, obviously, the Krushers win the game, 8-7.

Kristy is recovering after the game, and Shannon comes over to see how she can get Kristy all fixed up for the dance. They're in the process of deciding between Kristy's two dresses (the one from her mom's wedding, and the one from the Schafer/Spier wedding) when the phone rings. It's Bart, saying he's got some costumes for the dance. Kristy agrees before she even knows what the costumes are. Turns out they're lobsters, and with them, Kristy and Bart win the "Most Unusual" prize. The prize is a free large pizza. Which is better than the Winter War prize.

After the dance, the BSC goes to Kristy's to have a slumber party, Shannon included. High points of the dance: Cokie showed up in full makeup and one of her fake eyelashes fell into the punchbowl; Mallory danced with Ben Hobart all night and loved it; Jessi danced with eight different boys and hated it; Bart kissed Kristy (only on the cheek, no tongues were harmed) in the middle of the gym. They're getting into their sleeping bags, and Kristy's getting into bed when she finds a letter made of cut-from-newspapers letters saying, "I am coming for you tonight. I will be there at 3:00am. There's no way to escape me." Everyone's freaking out but Shannon, who's laughing. Can you guess who wrote the letter?

Kristy gets second wind from this and leads everyone to the computer downstairs where she typed out this letter:

My dearest, darling Cokie,
You are the light of my life. You make the sun rise every morning. You make the flowers grow, yellow-dappled and dewy. Every day I watch you. I watch you in the halls and the cafeteria and science class. You are a creature more gorgeous than a goddess. Please accept this heartfelt invitation to dissect a frog with me.
Always and forever,
Your Mystery Perspirer

Mature.

Dance wear: Dawn is Alice in Wonderland, Mary Anne is a witch, Logan is a Frankenstein, Mallory's a clown, Stacey's just dressed up, and there's no mention of what either Claudia or Jessi wore. And of course, Kristy is a lobster.

Continuity Issues:
*There were mostly good issues in this one, with lots of [correct] references to earlier books. But at the slumber party, they say Cokie's last name is Gray but we all know it's Mason. It's even Mason earlier in the book. Just bad editing.

WTF Moments:
*A World Series consisting of only one game. How can it be a series when it's only one?

*Bart Taylor's little brother taking the letter to the wrong house. Um, my best friend's 5 year old daughter knows who lives in which house. Doesn't an 8 year old know that his classmate lives in that house, so it's obviously not the right one? You've lived there your whole life! Don't you know who your neighbors are!


So, that's all I got. I didn't take notes while I read this one (I didn't plan to blog it), so I had to rely on my memory. Which is holier than the pope.

Hopefully, a Claudia book next, either Claudia, Queen of the Seventh Grade or Claudia and the Terrible Truth.