"This year the Pikes would have an old-style Christmas season. Nothing would be commercial, nothing artificial." #92 Mallory's Christmas Wish

*Edit* Sorry about the white space around the picture. I dunno what the deal is with that.

Let's talk about the cover. First of all, the lime green color is migraine-inducing. Nor is it the shade of green I normally associate with Christmas. The banner across the bottom corner reads, "Free punch-out holiday ornament inside!" My copy actually does have the ornament, but I'd never punch it out and hang it on my tree. It's candy cane-shaped with a green bow wrapped around it and seven spaces for each Baby-sitter's face and signature. I'm not sure which cover Kristy's face came from, but it looks like she's wearing a neck brace. Huh. I just realized that they're the same pictures that run down the side of the front cover. Except Kristy's.

Now, the plot picture on the cover does a nice job of making Mallory look like she's actually (gasp) eleven. And I'm thinking the sister with her is Claire. Their Christmas tree, although nice and fat, is very asymmetrical. Who lets the artist get away with this kind of stuff?? Speaking of whom, Ann Martin writes in her "letter" than the cover artist finally poses for one of the covers--he's the man in the green jacket.

Side note: Hodges Soileau's website has images of his paintings and drawings. His bio says that his works have graced the covers of more than 300 book covers, but doesn't name any titles. Most of his drawings are nudes, and a few dancers, but his paintings are women draped in robes showing bare backs, more dancers, and some Native American chiefs. There are a few (available) paintings of a dark-haired girl, named "Claudia" and "Claudia in Red and Green". There is one painting of an African-American ballet dancer ("Dancer in White"), and one called "Happy Highlands Girl," who looks like a cross between Lindsay Lohan and Dawn Shafer. See? The BSC is hard to forget! Also, for years, I thought this man's name was pronounced "Soy-lou," but somewhere I realized it's pronounced like "Swallow."

Getting back on track here, the plot of this book is kind of fantastic. Mallory deems that her family should have an old-style Christmas, and surprisingly enough, everyone agrees. Vanessa decides that her family's holiday would make a great essay topic for the "Old-fashioned Christmas Contest" sponsored by Channel 3 TV. Even more surprisingly (not), she wins. The Pikes win ten grand and lose the privacy of their home for the holiday season so Channel 3 can film a reality show to be run next year. But the film crew barges in on everything, breaks stuff, asks for coffee and then doesn't drink it, ruin everything, steps on the dog, blah blah. On Christmas Eve, the kids are opening some presents, and the director keeps saying cut and the kids are miserable, Mr. Pike loses it and kicks them out. That would be the TV crew, not the kids. The Pikes have a family meeting and all agree to give back the money and have their own bland (TV-camera free) Christmas.

Subplot: The Stoneybrook Manor, home of Uncle Joe Pike, is having a Christmas Boutique. The gang decides they want to be some a lot of assistance, so they surrender themselves to Mrs. Kronauer and are put to work sorting, tagging, and, of course, babysitting during the actual Boutique hours. (Which takes place on a Monday night, of all times.) Remember Uncle Joe, who's in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's? Mallory invites him to the Pikes' for Christmas Day, and at first he agrees. She's worried that he won't remember the invitation because he called her "Laurie" once while she was at the Manor. He gets wind of the TV crew filming at the house, mainly because the crew follows Mallory to the Manor and gets her trouble there by making the residents upset and such. So Uncle Joe backs out of Christmas and Mallory is crushed. Don't worry, Mal, once the crew leaves, he'll come over.

Continuity Issues
*This books starts just a few days after Thanksgiving. Therefore, the timing is completely goofy, because Dawn has already moved back to California (and gets nary a mention through the whole book) and Abby has joined the club.

*Mallory is at home with her sisters, and Jessi brings over the Braddock kids. Mary Anne brings over the Arnold twins, and Mallory says it's hard to tell them apart. Um, Mal, weren't you the one who helped them separate their personalities? Not to mention their looks? They also told you the secret to telling them apart.

*The Barrett/DeWitt family shows up to the Boutique, and they call the Cosmo-model Mrs. DeWitt. I have the Super Special in which everyone gets married. And one thing that sticks out from it is that Her Hotness and Mr. DeWitt get married December 12, the same weekend that Dawn's dad gets married in California. There is absolutely no mention of either marriage in this book, nor of any wedding preparations. Mary Anne, Kristy, and Claudia go to Cali to "help" with that wedding, and Stacey is one of Mrs. Barrett's bridesmaids at home in Stoneybrook. I don't think that they've been married for a year already, because Marnie is still only two. Nor do I think that they have just gotten married. But we all know that Stoneybrook, CT, is in the middle of a Time Warp. It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the ri-i-i-i-ight.


WTF Moments
*When did Stacey become the Vocabulary Queen? She constantly corrects everyone. And she gets pissy cause she has to help out at the Boutique instead of going to a concert with boy toy Robert and his parents. Get over yourself.

*Mallory still bitches about how her parents think she's a baby. You are ELEVEN. You still are a baby. She says that by the time Claire is eleven, she'll have her own apartment, a butler, and a salary. Right.

*None of the BSC knows what a "tizzy" is. Claudia thinks it's an old car. That'd be a Tin Lizzie, honey. They don't know what "tchotchkes" are either. Not even Abby, who's Jewish and knows some Yiddish. Personally, I love tchotchkes. Truck stops are the best places to buy them. (Seriously. Once, somewhere in Oklahoma, we were at a truck stop, and I found scorpions encased in glass balls. I bought 7. And then gave them away to my co-workers.)


I'm going to try to do another book this week, because from August 17-22, we're going on vacation. So I'm hoping to get another one up by Friday or Saturday, because I won't be able to do another till after the 25th. I think I'll work on #90, Welcome to the BSC, Abby. It's nice and short and should go quickly. I'm not going to take a BSC book on vacation with me. I'm taking The Stand. I freaking love this book; I'm halfway through it and if I don't stop reading it, I'll finish it before we even get on the damn plane.