BSC #69, Mallory Gets the Kissing Disease

I wanted to squeeze in one more post this month, and since my husband was kind enough to give me his cold, I thought I'd skip watching Survivor tonight and instead read about how much Mallory sucks. Besides, May 2 is Mallory's birthday, so this kinda kills two birds with one stone, although I will probably do another Mal post this weekend.


It's the day before Halloween, and Mallory is so tired, she's lounging around on the couch just watching her siblings fight over costumes. She's thinking about all the colds she's had the last few weeks, and how run-down she's been since Dawn left. Ma Pike comes in to announce that her cousins, who live in New York City, have invited the Pike family to the city to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. They got tickets for bleacher seats in front of Macy's. Everyone's thrilled and Mal starts daydreaming about her entire family wearing red-and-white striped mufflers while her parents stress about what hotel can take all of them (try Motel 6) and what restaurant can sit them all (how about McDonald's?). Mallory hopes she's still not sick by the time Thanksgiving rolls around.

Mal zonks out on the couch, but when Nicky wakes her up the next morning, she's in her bed and it's almost *gasp* 11:00! She missed breakfast! By the time Mal does her chores and gets the little ones ready for trick-or-treating, she's wiped out. She's planning on helping Jessi take Becca and Squirt out, but Mal calls Jessi and begs off. She then proceeds to sleep right through the three hours out non-stop doorbell ringing.

At the BSC meeting the next day (that's right, Halloween was on a Sunday, mainly because Mallory is too uncool to do anything worthwhile for Halloween), the subplot is born. Kristy gets all sentimental about how there's people out there who don't have families or friends to have Thanksgiving dinner with. She suggests doing something for them, but isn't specific. Mary Anne chimes in that all the kids should be involved, and the gang decides that they will bestow their charms on the innocent old folks at Stoneybrook Manor. Mal drags herself home and barely has the strength to climb the front steps.

Tuesday morning, Mal wakes up and wants desperately to go back to bed.

Everything hurt. I mean, everything. My joints, my skin--even my hair hurt. I stumbled over to look in the mirror above my dresser. I opened my mouth and said, "Ah." My throat was fiery red and burned every time I tried to swallow. Two bumps stuck out of my neck, just under my ears. My glands had swollen to the size of big marbles.

Mal has two tests to take and a sitting job with the Barretts after school, so she attempts to get dressed and makes her way to breakfast. Ma Pike takes one look and tells her to go back to bed. Mal closes her eyes and wakes up at the doctor's office, where she's the lucky recipient of strep throat, a bacterial infection, or mono. Throat culture says it's not strep, but a blood test will give them results in a few days. Mal gets antibiotics just in case.

On Friday, Mal's still sick--the antibiotics haven't done a thing--and they get a phone call from Dr. Dellenkamp. Mal has mono. All they can do is prescribe lots of rest, and sleep, and naps. No activities or Mal could damage her spleen.

Vaguely interesting side note: Ann M Martin had her spleen removed after some accident. From the chapter that I barely remember reading, the main affect it has on her now is that it's harder for her to get rid of colds and such; her immunity isn't what it used to be. And that reminds me of the Little Sister book I just had the misfortune of reading: Karen's Accident, in which Karen falls out of her tree house and, instead of breaking a bone like any other normal child, Karen has to have her spleen out. Maybe, if we're lucky, Karen will get the flu and then she'll go "live on a farm." You know, where there's plenty of room for her to run around and use her outdoor voice as much as she likes. Chickens to chase...bunnies... a sharp rusty nail poking up out the garden soil...rainbows...cows to milk...

Ahem. Back to Mallory.

It kinda goes downhill from here. She sleeps a lot. Doesn't baby-sit, except one job with Margo and Claire, and they baby-sit her more than Mal baby-sits them. She gets so depressed about not being able to sit, she becomes a little bitchy and totally passive-aggressive about getting the other girls to kick her out of the club.

Charlotte Johanssen comes up with the plan for the Thanksgiving party at Stoneybrook Manor. As usual. But they have to raise a bunch of money to buy all the stuff they want to make goody baskets out of. Even after pooling everyone's allowances, baby-sitting money, and treasury money, they're still short. So all the little kids start selling promises. As in, "I promise to shine your shoes for fifty cents." And, "I promise to stay away from your golf clubs for a dollar." Yes, those are really in there.

The kids make all the money they need doing this, and they go shopping at Cost-Club, a place that's never been mentioned before and probably isn't mentioned again ever. Since it's a members-only store, Watson has loaned Kristy his membership card. Prices there are wicked cheap and they buy tons of stuff: fruit, tiny chocolates, paperback books, audio books, and toys like bubbles, Legos, play-doh. Some import store (Mal's words, not mine) has donated all the baskets they need so they're all set.

This stupid subplot just drags on and on. The BSC and the kids take the baskets to the Manor, along with some carnival games. The residents love it. No one has a stroke.

Thanksgiving dinner has rolled around, and needless to say, the Pikes aren't going to the city to watch the parade. They have dinner instead, and to surprise Mallory, the rest of the BSC comes over to give her a basket of stuff, and they've brought the carnival games with them! Yay! And then Kristy points to the phone, and it rings! Another surprise, it's Dawn! Yay again! Yay!

This book ends on kind of a downer though. Claudia has designed a new flier for the holiday season (yeah, I know) with holly and ivy on it and they're putting all their names on it. Except Mallory's. She doesn't even know when she can go back to school, let alone baby-sit. Sad face.


WTF Moments:
*I just realized that although Shannon is listed on the back of this book as the alternate officer, she's mentioned in this book twice: once in Chapter 2 (which doesn't really count), and once while they're making plans for the Manor carnival.

*And while they're making plans, Stacey suggests each BSC member talk to a grocery store to get either a donation or a discount. That means there's at least six grocery stores in Stoneybrook. I don't know about you, but I didn't think Stoneybrook was that big.

Continuity Issues:
*While talking about the possible trip to New York, Mallory says the city is only an hour away by train. I seem to remember Stacey saying the trip is closer to two hours.

*Mal says Kristy's brothers are sixteen and fourteen. Malarkey.

*She also says that Mary Anne's kitten Tigger is black and white striped. We all know the-kitten-who-will-never-grow-up is gray-striped.


I'm not really sure what I'm going to do next. I've got an Abby book that I've never read, so maybe it'll be that. On the other hand, I could do a Flowers in the Attic book-to-movie comparison. (The movie is truly awful.) Any suggestions?