I didn't ever plan to do any SVH books here (except maybe the Jungle Prom/Margo miniseries), because The Dairi Burger does them way better than I ever could. These two I just couldn't pass up. To me, these two books are more of a single book than consecutive episodes. I found them at the thrift store last week and they are pristine. They don't look like they've ever been read. The inside covers are starting to yellow, but there aren't any names, price stickers, bent corners, crap like that. Nice! Not bad for a quarter apiece. The above quote is from #7 Dear Sister but it wraps up both books and the entire series quite nicely. Best of all? Jessica says it to Elizabeth! Mr. Pervins the English teacher had nothing to do with it.
Anyhoo, Dangerous Love starts off with Todd buying his dream motorcycle, a Yamaha 750 Virago, which he's wanted since he was a kid. Um, Todd, your bike sounds kind of weenie to me. Sorry, I'm a Harley-Davidson type of gal. (At least Devon Whitelaw [who is he again?] gets a Harley later on.) And, St. Elizabeth (and Jessica) have been forbidden to ride any motorcycles since their cousin Rexy Wakefield was killed on one a few years back. I don't think I ever noticed when I was 12 that Rexy was a guy. Doesn't matter, because I don't recall from The Wakefield Legacy that Nerd had any siblings. But that's continuity issues for another day.
So, getting back to the point here, Todd shows up on his weenie bike but Liz can't ride on it. So Todd just carts around every other girl from school instead, and Liz gets all kinds of jealous. Like even when Enid gets a ride. Liz really needs some therapy for her problems. Seriously. At the Grand Re-Opening of the Dairi Burger (which Jessica calls a grease-pit), Todd blows in with someone named Mandy Farmer, and Liz sees red. Our happy couple fight about it all the way through the book. It gets old in a hurry. Listen to the foreshadowing here about the guy whose van gets bumper-kissed by Jessica's newest conquest:
"They didn't call Jerry McAllister "Crunch" for nothing. As starting tackle on the Sweet Valley High football team, Crunch McAllister had rolled over the opposition handily until his playing career was cut short by a knee injury. Unable to play anymore and never much of a student, Crunch had dropped out of school several months earlier. He worked every now and then on construction jobs but spent most of his time at places like the Dairi Burger or, more often, at bars like the Shady Lady across the street. Despite his age, he never had trouble getting beers. And when Crunch had too many beers inside him, anything could happen."Hmmm. I seem to remember Jessica dating Jerry McAllister some-odd books later? But he wasn't called Crunch then, and he was still in school. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Also, the Shady Lady is across the street from the Dairi Burger?? That sounds like some continuity right there. But I digress again. As Crunch is about to pound Jess's boy-toy, Todd pulls up and deflects the blows about to rain down. Crunch is mesmerized by the shiny bike and Jess and Date scram. Jessica's date's name is actually Danny Stauffer, who drives a red Trans-Am, which has a front seat that slides back really far and reclines almost flat. Slut-tastic! This is also the book where Jessica is proud of herself for losing "those extra two pounds!" and calls herself a "blimpo." Thanks for the self-image issues, Jess.
The lame subplot of this one is how Enid's mom is throwing a massive Sweet Sixteen party for Enid at the country club. I thought Enid and her ma didn't have a lot of money? That's probably why Elizabeth is such good friends with Enid, so she can rub in her upper-middle class two-parent home-life to poor, single-parent Enid. Maybe throwing this stupid party made them toe the poverty line. Engraved invitations, caviar on toast, mud wrestling, you get the picture.
Meanwhile, Jessica is begging Liz to have Enid fix up her hot cousin Brian with Jessica. Enid is carrying a grudge about the time when Jess let the cat out of the bag about Enid's past, and she refuses to do anything for Jessica. But Enid has a change of heart and eventually agrees. At the party, Brian is sex on a stick, and Jessica manages to get him into the back seat of his car and is mauling him when she remembers that she was supposed to give Elizabeth a ride to the beach, where the party ends up. Todd was supposed to do all these boyfriend-type chores, but he's being held hostage at a stupid family party for his grandfather. Then he goes out and makes a deal with the aforementioned Crunch to sell his bike, hopefully for more than what he paid. Crunch celebrates by "chugging beers" and pouring sodas for Toddy-boy. For someone who doesn't work very much, he sure has a lot of money to buy stuff. So Jessica's getting felt up in the back seat of a car (literally; she wears a "jumpsuit" to the party and has to "adjust the straps" when she sits up) when she remembers that Liz is stranded. Better not leave her there too long, she might get kidnapped! Oh wait, that's five books later.
Todd shows up shortly before the heavy petters do, and Elizabeth makes a very uncharacteristic choice to have one ride on the bike before Todd gets rid of it. He's shocked, mainly because he got rid of the hot-pink helmet he bought especially for Liz. He tried to talk her out of it, and she blows him off, saying her parent would never find out, just this one little ride. Well, the hand of God comes down and strikes Elizabeth, because Crunch McAllister is drunk-driving and smashes right into them! Divine intervention for lying! That's what you get when you lie.
End of Part One. Part Two will be waaay better, Liz comes out of a three-day coma unscathed, dumps Todd and Enid, starts whoring it up, gets drunk on warm wine from a paper cup, and almost loses her virginity to Bruce Patman at his folks' beach house. Hey! That is Part Two! Huh. Well, I'll flip through it again and see if there's anything else worth mentioning.
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